4 weeks post op today!

I weighed in at 172 so that is 20 lbs down!! Yippee. Some days I think I made a mistake by having this surgery and some days I am so happy I did! I got my first compliment yesterday too about how much weight I have lost!! Those really help!

Fluids!!

 

This is my everyday bottle of watered down purple Gatorade (G2) that I try to drink everyday. Aside from Gatorade it is really hard for me to get my fluids in. I just wish I could gulp fluids down still! I do not think I have made my goal of 64 oz once since surgery. I really need to drink because if I get dehydrated even pre-sleeve it is all bad. I usually end up in the ER hooked up to an IV for hours on end! I am trying my best to get the liquid in but it is so hard!! 

Kids...

 

Well this particular morning was rough because the alarm did not go off so we had to rush out of the house with no breakfast but then we ended up with a few extra minutes and the boys said they were hungry! Stupid me agreed right away to bring them through the BK drive through secretly hoping I could take a bite of something! Well they got out of the car after eating and left all that extra food in my car!! I would have normally ate it all on the way home but today was different! I took all that food and dumped it into a garbage can and went home and ate a tiny piece of salmon we had cooked the night before! Yay me! it is a small victory but it is a victory! 

Distractions

 

Well since some of my clothes is already getting loose I have decided to distract myself by upcycling some of my big clothes into new one. Currently I am woking on making a long jersey dress out of a Shirt and some old tshirts. I will post a pic when I am done.

My breakfast...

Sometimes all I have time to grab in the morning is a cheese slice and five wheat thins... It is not ideal but leaving the house with 3 kids by 7:30 to pick up to more for carpool and getting to work by 8:30 is so very tricky for me.

Protein Problems

Yup, I'm bad and I know it..

 

I went out for Icecream with my kids and I caved and ordered a child size scoop of  orange sherbert :( . It went down ok I guess but it DID taste good!

Goldfish are the enemy!

Gold fish are my enemy. I can eat  up to ten of these no problem at all and I think about these darn little fish all day!! I need to stop. I think this would be considered a "slider food" because they do not make me sick at all!

It is the little things...

When I go to the store now, instead of buying myself a KitKat I buy myself something else. I have recently gotten a new lipstick, gloss, blush, and new razors(which I love for some reason!). Buying myself something that is not food really helps me feel better and it helps me not get upset because I can not eat.

3 Weeks Post Op Today!!

 

I am 15lbs down now! Woot woot ! I am having some trouble though, this is harder than I thought it was going to be! I kind of cheat a lot.. and by that I mean snacking on things and on top of that tasting things that are bad like my sons snacky foods. :( Sometimes I feel like I am not gonna be so great at this whole bring a sleever and some days I feel like I am going to rock it! It is a very emotional roller coaster to say the least....  

On a positive note I am feeling much better about myself.. see I am wearing red lipstick and the super fat me would never do that.

Pureed Foods :/

 

Don't get me wrong I love my baby bullet and I am glad not to be on full liquids any more but YUCK! The first few days were ok, but after that it was so hard to eat that nastiness! It tasted fine but the texture made me want to vomit! So....I only did a week of pureed food and was done with that. No, my doctor did not clear me but did you know that in some states sleevers do not even have to do a pureed diet for two weeks so yeah I'M DONE! DONE! DONE! 

14lbs. DOWN

I will be 3 weeks postOP in 4 days and I have lost 14lbs. I weigh  178.0! Woot Woot! Granted I am considered a "light" weight sleever because I started my pre-OP journey at 206 and had surgery at 192. I feel great and I am starting love myself again! I was getting a little discouraged because for 4 days I did not lose an ounce but sure enough the scale started moving again! For any of you in a stall just keep going!

Liar, LIAR!

Whether to tell people of not is such a BIG issue for weight loss surgery patients. I have read a lot about it and it really is a personal choice when it comes down to it. I say follow your gut. I personally do not want to seem like a big fat liar, no pun intended, so I only told a few people but I figure when someone asks me directly I will tell them.  The reason I did not tell everyone straight up from the beginning is because I did not want a bunch of negative energy being directed my way right as I am about to undergo a major surgery! I don't want to lie about it, however I lied about why I needed a week off of work... so I am kind of a liar, right?!

I have a close friend who lied about it and honestly it made it into a bigger deal than it really was. Everyone talked more smack knowing that she lied instead of that she did it. Eventually all the different stories about how she lost the weight started getting crossed because there were different versions going around our little town.  I think she looks amazing and it is working for her so who cares right! So I am going to try to avoid that by just telling people the truth when they ask me how I lost this weight (this time). Or if someone asked me directly did you have weight loss surgery of course I will say yes.
It is complicated, I get that but for all the people out there trying to do it themselves and struggling I feel like I should tell the truth when asked because it just might convince them to go ahead and do it themselves or at least look into it. I also do not want to down play the people doing it the hard way because I did it the hard way a few times and it sucked. Do not get me wrong this is hard in a whole other way but I still feel like the extra help I get from not having a normal sized stomach and the help from the post-op (miserable) diet are cheating. Honestly, I am good with that. I have tried every quick fix pill, long fix system, exercise program on earth so what the he**.
Everybody secretly wants a little help or a little cheat... I know I did! 
For all those people who look down upon weight loss surgery, OH WELL! It is a free country and you can have your own opinion. Just keep your negativity away from me. The way I see it is I only get one life to live and it is MINE. I wanted to do this so I did, no regrets.

Dressing rooms..

I have always hated dressing rooms since I was a child! Today, however, I think I'm starting to like myself again. At least a little bit ;)

Happy Valentine's Day

Well I cheated! I ate one of these even though it took me a long time. I know I shouldn't but holy cow I wanted one! I got so so many goodies from my sweet preschoolers too! It has been a rough two days!

Please Mommy! I'm on my little KNEES!

Not picking up my baby is killing me! I can't wait until I am allowed to pick him up!!!

Spaghetti Sauce for me

My family had spaghetti last night :(. I had spaghetti sauce but I must have had too much and I made myself sick again. I went for a walk and that helped the nauseated feeling a little. I spent the rest of the night in bed :(. I guess I have to measure out only one ounce of food when trying something new because being sick sucks!!!

Happy Birthday to me ;)

I had puréed chicken and spinach for dinner. Also for my birthday treat we all had sugar free chocolate pudding with whipped cream. I took the whipped cream off of mine and only had a tiny bite since I was over stuffed and feeling nasty from the chicken... real food makes me feel gross! Sigh...

10lbs. DOWN!

Woot Woot! I have lost 10lbs and weighed in at 182!! (I am doing my celebration dance right now!) Among other good things, I passed the first state test for my teaching credential (I'm doing my dance again!)! I was very worried about having enough energy and motivation to study for the test and actually go take it after having had the surgery not even two weeks ago but God is so good to me! All went well I felt fine during the test and after and especially now!
I have been really struggling with my food addiction and head hunger the last few days so having some happy news really helps. And that is another reason that is evidence that I am an emotional eater, especially a stress eater! Now that the test is over and I feel some happiness the head hunger seems more manageable (at least today). I guess I am always looking for some sort of buzz or pleasure and when I do not get it from life I find it in food but not anymore!

So I bet some of you want to know what I am eating right so here goes...

Breakfast I had 1/2+ cup of cream of wheat made with fat free milk ( and two splendas )

Lunch I had 1/4 of cream of broccoli soup which I pureed in my baby bullet :) even though I am not on pureed foods yet... I figured some broccoli wouldn't kill me if it was pureed into soup.

I also ate another ritz cracker on the way to take my test (stress cracker)!!!

i have had 20 oz of crystal light and am currently working on another water bottle of it while I am at the library studying again. Man no time to celebrate the passing one test because we have to move on to the next one (which is on the 22nd) and also I have 1,000 word paper to write by tomorrow night. The library closes at 6 and then I have to decide what soupy mush I will eat for dinner tonight while my family eats real food (arghhh)!

I messed up...

I have been really struggling with food demons and... I ate a cracker! I know I know that's bad. I chewed so so much and it went OK. I have a major food addiction and this surgery makes it so obvious that it us undeniable. :(

Made myself sick!!

Yesterday, I made myself so so sick! I thought it would be a good idea to get one of those fancy soups at the super market and strain it for my dinner. I chose a wonderful lobster bisque (YUM) but it must have been to rich or greasy and I ran to the bathroom twice within the first two spoonfuls! Finally after the second time I realized it was the soup having this affect on me! Yikes! I really need to learn to listen to my body when I am trying something new to my sleeve. I felt sick for the next 2 hours and went to the bathroom A LOT of times before I finally went to sleep.

I am having a MOMENT!

My family is having a wonderful dinner tonight... so far I have not been interested in what they are eating but TONIGHT...I really want a bite! I decided to go to my room while they eat and get the leftovers put away to be safe. But I am really in a bad mood, I want it so badly but I know I can't have that. I can't even have a bite of it and I think I am going crazy! It is amazing how much food controls me. This feeling that I am having right now is exactly why I am over weight in the first place. It is sobering to know I CAN NOT and WILL NOT eat that today. I am however looking forward to the day I can have it and only eat a small amount and be totally OK with that normal amount of food.
I also went through my skinny clothes to make myself feel better and that calmed my nerves a little. I have one more box of jeans under my bed but I can't get to it because it still hurts to bend in weird ways. I guess that is normal since I just had surgery a little over a week ago.... Pray for me!

One week plus some Miralax and Finally I went!

One week post OP today

I am week out today and I have lost 7.6 lbs. !! That's crazy good! I weigh 184.4! Woot Woot!

Constipated?

Well I had surgery on the 29th and have not eaten anything since the 28th at 5:30 p.m. and no BM yet.. I took milk or mag this afternoon but just 20 ml which is less than the recommended dose. I also took one colase soft gel which made me feel yucky. I hope something happens soon! I have read some pretty scary stuff online about this issue.. YIKES

I would recommend taking TWO weeks off of work!

I thought my first day was going great but now at 6 and after a two hour staff meeting (3-5) I'm completely exhausted and everything hurts....

First Day Back at Work

I am 6 days post OP and I'm headed back to work this morning. Still taking dauladid * as needed for pain. I am a preschool teacher and only work from 8:30-12:15 so I should be fine. Wish me luck! I am feeling good now, it was nice getting back into the drop off routine with my three boys. :)

Full Liquids

OK this is my second day on full liquids and I am feeling much better. This is a tomato soup with a tablespoon of cream cheese melted into it. I also added garlic powder, salt, and pepper. It was so good I almost wished I could eat more than a couple ounces ;) but I can't and that's kind of amazing . I only finished a quarter of that tiny bowl and was FULL.!!!

5 days Post OP

I drove for the first time today. Yes I was still on some pain medication but I was fine. I just went to pick up my kindergarten boy :)

Calcium Chews

Oh my goodness! These are the most delicious calcium chews I have ever eaten! They are not chalky at all, they are smooth and taste like rich brownie bites! I got them from celebrate vitamins.

Tea is my new BFF

 

I never in my life thought I would go to Starbucks and order TEA! I never really even liked TEA, I have always been more of an iced coffee or white chocolate peppermint mocha type of girl....but i guess that is what got me in trouble in the first place. It is the start of a whole new life for me in more ways then I ever counted on. 

4 Days POST-OP and 5lbs. down!

Okay today is Sunday (Superbowl Sunday) February 2nd and I am finally feeling better today. Do not get me wrong here it still hurts like hell when I swallow anything that is not hot tea or hot broth but it is getting better. I got to start FULL liquids today and I had one ounce of Greek yogurt this morning for breakfast, so far so good. It is hard to get my liquids in because every sip hurts. The good news is I weigh 187 lbs already! I went from 192 on surgery day to 187! That is five pounds down! I really hope I can feel better soon and it will not hurt to eat.

Oh another thing is that food that people are eating (Superbowl Food) smells good looks good but there is no way in hell I would consider putting it in my mouth because of the pain I am sure it would cause. So I guess that is a good thing plus I am not hungry anyway. That is all for now. Wish me luck that tomorrow is better! I really need to get back to work on Tuesday ....